I am not funny

Alright, time to explain everything that happened at Orientation. We were very, very, very busy. I don't have time to attempt wit with this post, because so many things happened.

First, I screwed up by going to the Study Centre myself instead of waiting for the group. Nobody told me there was going to be a group adventure! Therefore I met nobody that was going to be on EAP with me, which sort of put me behind in the social game. Nothing new there, I’m afraid. I did make friends, but the people I was hanging out with the most were going to a different school. Whoops.

That was on the first day. We had burritos for dinner, which was awesome, and then a few of us went out for a few pints. That was kind of exciting, and I learned that cider is delicious but also expensive. I fear I will not be drinking it much. I have yet to find the English equivalent of Natty Light, but when I do I’m sure that’s what I’ll be drinking. But because it will be English, it will somehow be classier.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I won a pen with the Union Jack on it by helping my team know the most things about random British culture. One of the questions was about the two longest-running British soap operas, and I surprised the hell out of the orientation staff by knowing both of them (they are Coronation Street and Eastenders, and I know this because those shows are all my Irish grandmother watches).  I was absurdly proud of myself for a rather stupid reason, but that’s OK. I got a pen!

The second day was full of doing tourist things. We got to tour Parliament, which was super cool even though we couldn’t take any pictures or sit in certain places because we are not Lords or MPs. Everything was very, very pretty and there is just so much history there. It is ridiculous. There were plaques saying things like “This is more or less where William Wallace was tried” or “This is where that one PM was assassinated” or “This is where Charles I was tried.” Lots of people were executed there, like Guy Fawkes and I think Charles I and William Wallace, but Guy Fawkes was really the only one brought up.

All this talk of Guy Fawkes is making me want to watch “Sherlock Holmes.” You heard me. Not “V for Vendetta.” I watched way too much “V for Vendetta” when writing that stupid scifi paper.

Anyway, Parliament was totally awesome. We even saw where the Queen sits when she opens Parliament! I have to say, she is a pretty cool old lady. There is a pretty badass statue of Churchill there, too. The tour guide was pretty funny; he kept making cracks about how Parliament kept getting burned down.

Afterwards, we cruised the Thames from the London Eye to Tower Bridge, which is actually really pretty. The Tower of London was not exactly what I expected, but it is also rather cool looking. We didn’t get to tour that, which was unfortunate, but just seeing it was (almost) enough for me. I love history!

We had some time off for a bit, which I spent wandering about the National Portrait Gallery with another girl in the Orientation. It’s cooler than it sounds, I promise!

Alright, maybe it isn’t. But we enjoyed ourselves. Or I did, at least.

Then it was off to the Tate Modern, a museum near St. Paul’s Cathedral. I actually am not a fan of modern art, and that is kind of an understatement. I like my art literal and to the point, without any of this dallying around with abstract and existentialism. I’m pretty sure I was the only person who was bored with the whole thing; everyone else seemed to really like the art and the tour guide, but I found his descriptions of the art and what it signified to be rather boring. Just point me at some impressionists, please. Maybe some Renaissance artists. I can handle the rest myself.

We had dinner at a Japanese noodle house — STILL NO FISH AND CHIPS! — and went to a show afterwards. The show was Mamma Mia, which was alright. I’m not really into musicals, and there were some seriously devoted people there. On the upside, all of the performers had English or Scottish accents, which was entertaining. But everyone on the tour was exhausted from the jetlag and all of the touring about, and we all fell asleep relatively early.

The next morning was full of getting slightly lost, packing all of our things, learning about academics, and getting on the train. Also, it was raining. I was actually happy to see the rain. It wouldn’t have been London if it wasn’t raining!

Oh, and every time I see a street name in London I recognize, I get super excited. Baker Street, Drury Lane, Abbey Road, St. John’s Wood... I want to go to all of them and take pictures.

(Alright, St. John’s Wood might be an area, not a street. I didn’t go there; I just saw it on a Tube map and had to restrain myself from getting all excited. It’s a bit of an oblique reference... I think that’s where Mr. and Mrs. Darling live, from the book 101 Dalmatians. And yes, it was a book first. And yes, those are the names of the Dalmatians’ owners)

The train was lovely. The English countryside is very green, and quite reminiscent of the Irish countryside but with quite a few more trees. But there were some scary factory-looking places outside York. Actually, they looked more like nuclear power plants than factories, which was mildly terrifying. I know they aren’t actually nuclear power plants, but still...

What’s lovely about York is that the Minister is huge. We could see it from pretty much any part of the city. The air here is a little chillier, but it doesn’t feel as cold as London because it isn’t windy. It’s a lot gloomier, though. The weather is supposed to be rather inclement this week, with rain and snow and slushy rain in the forecast. Since my hostel is Inconveniently Located, I might just curl up in bed and read a book instead of going out on the town.

Oh, who am I kidding? I am going to take York by storm, pun intended, and go see things. I have tentative plans to visit York Minister sometime in the next few days, and possibly go to tea.

I can’t wait to move into my dorm room.